I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
