everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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