there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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