STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I cannot find my penis.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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