the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
