don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
