okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
