just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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