if you like me you must not know who I am
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
