just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
