I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Reggie can tackle my bush.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
