It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
