i already hear my dad disowning me
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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