K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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