at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
