she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
