I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
