No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
