You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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