How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
