I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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