when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
ttyl tear gas
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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