fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize