Your mouth is God's brothel.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
