just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Lo siento on account of my penis...
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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