There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize