it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize