just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize