porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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