I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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