3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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