i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize