Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
