my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize