No awkward lesbian experiences without me
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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