My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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