I wish I could punch you in the face.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
now i know why i became what i already was.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
