I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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