please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
