OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
