I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
