Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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