New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
