the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
His nipple licking is glorious
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