Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
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