What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
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