I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
smell my finger.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I have aggressive nipples.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
