I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
