In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
She said her name was "party"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
