i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
