The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Come on in and take your pants off
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