I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
