I feel like abortions should bother me more
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
