So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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