I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
