Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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