This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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