I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
