she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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