i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I had to cum in my sink.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
