i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
