I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
