I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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