I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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