Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
